Final rant on ward 5b….
December 2nd, 2008 by lovebabydHello again and i don’t know where or how to start so i’ll just start with gibberish and things which makes no sense 
Hopefully this will be my last and final rant about working in that horrid ward mentioned in the title.Its been close to 5 1/2 years that i’ve been working as a nurse and in 5b.Starting off as a brand new nurse,fresh after post SARS period where nurses were seen as heroes and do gooders,was a pretty good beginning a nurse can ask for.As usual with anything new,it had its difficulties,learning to cope under extreme pressures,workloads which seemed insurmountable and having to put into practice what was learnt in school with little to no guidance at all.But what made it bearable and fun was the staff i had back then.
We were simply called “nurses”,there were no segregation of any kind.We were simply there to help the patients and in the process have fun while doing so.My first 3 years as a nurse were the most rewarding and satisfying,even though when times were hard.There were always sympathetic patients,family members to make our hardship and toil worthwhile.From tiny “thank yous” to food which is obviously nurses favourites 
I was always looking forward to work,i can say i was so enthusiastic and motivated to work that the night before i went to bed.I was already thinking of what i was going to do and who i was going to work with.Such was the pleasure to work that i believed i chose the right career.Even today i still have the same belief but my enthusiasm has definitely waned due to many reasons.
It could be due to the leaving of the ward sister or the seniors,or the influx of many fledgling new nurses whose motivation of joining nursing are suspect or simply the managements decisions to implement systems which took away nurses time with patients.Whatever the reason,over a short span of time,invisible walls were erected,lines were drawn and patient care was no longer the priority.I did my part to help improve the drastic drop in standards which the ward once had but me and a few others could only do so much when the management was simply happy enough to idly stand aside and expect us,the ground staff to resolve our own issues.No matter which angle you see it from,we still need people from a higher authority to set down ground rules or instill discipline.Yes the aforementioned person might not be well liked but it will help to maintain standard and ensure compliance.If not,why have them in the first place if they’re not there to ensure standards? We are adults yes but still its a necessary evil.This is the very reason i miss my previous ward sister very much.Yes she had her weird and sometimes piss off quirks but ultimately,i am the nurse that i am today because of her.With that thank you very much Sister Gan poo lian.
But all is not lost,there are some new staff who holds promise and i can see them achieve great things,however i pray that the disgusting culture of 5b does not affect them and they continue pursuing whatever they set out to do.After saying all of this or typing rather,i have already typed out my resignation letter and simply await the right time to send it in.I find it a lost cause trying to improve a situation where ensuring compliance and maintaining a high standard is considered being “fussy”.Another reason why i want or need to leave is that this world is one based on money and papers,as in qualifications.For the amount of time i have worked,over 4 years out of 5 1/2 years,i worked with no sick leave,always contributing more than the usual to the ward when meeting the standard requirements was enough,went the extra mile to please patients and family alike.I’ve received multiple positive feed backs ranging from day to day family members to Nursing directors and the hospital CEO himself.I don’t mean to brag but i’m trying to prove a point which is even with all these achievements.I made a tiny request to be sent for further studies and achieve my dream of being a SN,where i will have more autonomy in terms of patient care and have more say in patient treatment and care.But the i answer i got was a flat no.
After all these years of hard work for that one request was not even entertained the slightest.So they’re trying to tell me,with all the experience i have,things that i’ve learnt meant nothing.I was still judged on a piece of paper i acquired 6 to 7 years ago.So is that a fair judgement placed upon me? You decide.And so all hope was lost for me to upgrade and better myself at my current work setting.I toiled for years with the hope of being an SN,but when i found out that was nothing but a fast vanishing dream,i gave up.There was no point working hard anymore,contributing to anything which will end up in nothing.6 years post SARS,singapore has forgotten what nurses did and are back to their old pig like ways,treating us like maids or servants.We are rarely given any gratitude and when we do get them,its hard to differentiate sincerity from false pretence.
Now each day at work is a very painful and stinging reminder that if you don’t have the papers,attitude,motivation,enthusiasm means nothing.I patiently await mid February 2009 when all this will be behind me and a fresh start awaits.Life might be hard and grueling,at least i’ll be happy knowing that i’m rid of the responsibilities i once had.Sometimes i wonder how i got through the last 2 years,knowing that things were never going to be better and i was going nowhere.I have to thank my close friends in the ward for that.Those who understood my hardship and gave me their listening ear even though they didn’t know what to say.
I sincerely hope that this rant will give you a brief idea on why i want and need to leave to have a fresh start.I have given the majority of my young adult life to this place and have failed to achieve what i set out to do.And therefore trying a different path is the only way i know how to achieve that goal.We muslims believe that even at this moment,i already have an end.But i still can change that end depending on what i do.I pray that God grant me strength to go on and as the saying goes.”i’ll do my best and God will do the rest”
Thank you for taking your precious time to read this entire rant if not some parts of it.God bless you and take care
